The last week has been intense with my Community Building class.... we had class for the first time last Friday, had a seven hour St. Louis tour on Saturday, followed by films on Sunday. Today marks a repeat of this process. Although I have already dedicated many hours to this course.. I've realized that this course is not only about looking at St. Louis, and the communities that exist within it, but how we as a class develop our own community. I've never taken a class at WU where I have become so close and interacted with my peers in such a way. Discussing the atmosphere around us, eating at Mom's restaurant, or just interacting with neighbors in the communities we tour, we develop our own little community... I think it will be a great semester.
We were told to think about "who isn't here." By here it was meant in the class, in Wash. U. (or at least that is how I have interpreted the question). It is obvious that the people who we will be interacting with--the neighbors--those are the one's who aren't here. People who obviously struggle. What I have learned over the past couple of tours, however, is that these aren't people who necessarily struggle with "bad neighborhoods" and the people who we stereotype would gather there (e.g. Prostitutes, hustlers, drug traffickers)....not to say that those issues don't exist, but that in most cases those aren't the biggest problems. The biggest problems tackled deal with gentrification (as we have heard some say when we approach on a tour "are you here to buy our homes"), poor urban planning or benign neglect (how can we let houses crumble in certain neighborhoods, but not in others... this isn't a residential issue--it is an administrative/legislative issue), and so forth. Reading portions of William Upski's book, it is amazing to me how he has walked through the "most feared neighborhoods in the nation" in the darkest of night, and yet they were just as quiet and serene as any neighborhood in the suburbs. It's interesting how there is a perpetuation of fear propagated through the media, through our own stereotypes... and the paradox that exists (the more fear we have, the less likely these neighborhoods will be treated with respect...which results in the further degradation of these neighborhoods).
Through this course, I have been forced to confront my own identity within the context of WU. I found myself quite bothered today with the notion that Bob (our instructor) takes a "bunch of white kids through the hood". I think there is an expectation that a wide gulf exists between us Wash U students and the neighbors. It goes back to stereotypes, and how I don't fit comfortably into any. On one hand, i am forced to tackle this privilege that I have for attending one of the nation's best schools, but with that status, some people assume that I came from a well-to-do background... a nice house in the suburbs maybe? Somewhere up north? I probably attended some nice school with parents who paid my way maybe? The fact of the matter is that these tours are not entirely foreign to me. I grew up down the street from Roseland, a housing project in North Carolina. I was 2 minutes away from Boulevard Homes and Little Rock apartments.... notorious for drug trafficking and violence. I took piano lessons in Hidden Valley, a neighborhood nationally recognized for it's violence particularly with the Hidden Valley Kings (a notorious gang). Not to say that I have it worse ( in fact, I have realized that the neighborhoods that we visit are sometimes in far worse shape... particularly with the windowless, boarded up, crumbling houses). But it is to say that i am in an interesting position. On one hand I feel as though I don't fit into this Wash U mold...I'm black, working class, (the fire alarm just went off.. now I'm back again), gay and disabled (to some degree). I am confronted every day with how my identity is oppressed, particularly in this white, affluent environment. But taking Community building has brought something to my attention. The fact that I am being educated, the fact that I am attending Washington University is privilege within itself.
Today, while touring Wellston, I was haunted by the dreams that I have shared with my friends.. about leaving my "hood" back home, to become rich...to live in a "nice" neighborhood (whatever that means). I realized what a trade-off that is though. How often is it that you see people sitting on porches keeping a loving watch over their neighborhood in a community that has multi-million dollar houses (often those houses are kept into themselves, with gates that form little compounds separated from the community). How often is it that in affluent neighborhoods, you can walk to the corner store where people know your name. There's a closeness, a sense of community that may not exist in my dream neighborhood.... it's rare that I occupy that "power" position in the privilege/oppression dichotomy, but with my education, I realize that I have a leg-up now.
It just matters what I do with that power now.. Will I do like so many others and leave the neighborhood that I have called my home for more than 18 years?all in pursuit of what is considered "better" or a "nicer neighborhood". It is an interesting choice, I'm sure I will be revisiting in coming journal entries.
Well, I have another 7 hour tour tomorrow...I'll see what else I can tie together then.
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