First of all, I want to thank EVERYONE who reads my blog. I really didn’t think that so many people would take the time out of their schedules to check out what’s going on in my life. I’m still getting used to this immediate response thing from people, whom I don’t directly speak to about my life’s happenings... but yes, THANK YOU for all of the encouragement, prayers, words of advice... etc
Research has been nonexistent over the past week. I feel REALLY bad and guilty. After I submitted my research update to my fellowship administrators, research took the back burner. It’s not like I can afford to do that though, because I have a five page paper due by August 15th, (which I am still not clear about), as well as a stack of articles to read, AS WELL AS a book list which I am sure has at least 50 books (of course I won’t get through all of them, but I would like to get through the important ones). As I told my research mentor, I see my project morphing even more, but as it does, it is becoming more concentrated. I have become interested in looking at the African American physician, not in the Jim Crow era as I originally expected, but in the Civil Rights Era. I still want to look at this figure in terms of his/her activism and fight for equality, but I want to look at them now in the context of hospital integration. It is a very interesting argument to look at within the black medical community: some advocated for the dissolution of black hospitals in the name of greater equality and integration, while others advocated maintaining black hospitals in an effort to accommodate “separate but equal” policies, at least until integration could be reached. But I will give more information about the evolution of my topic in posts to come.... as of right now; I have more pressing things to be concerned with
So, as you may recall, the non-profit that I work for-The Charlotte Coalition for Social Justice—is in a dire situation at the moment. Closing looks inevitable, which is very disappointing to me. I have been EXTEREMLY busy with my internship. As of now I have dropped my mental health project, because it is just physically impossible for me to maintain that, while also helping to shepherd this organization through a transitory period, and while maintaining yet another research project. Out of this dire situation, however, I am learning some valuable tidbits. Melissa (the other intern) and I are planning a press conference where students who have been affected by the organization can share their stories with the Charlotte community. It has been an ORDEAL…collecting media contact information….drafting and redrafting a media advisory and press release… editing statements for students…. Contacting students… and planning every little detail of the conference so that it runs smoothly. The press conference will occur tomorrow, so I hope it goes well! I might upload some video later.
And YES, I am still enjoying summer. I have been hanging out with friends, and taking breaks from everything in efforts to keep my sanity, but I have just been so BUSY! I would not have expected that this summer….Anyway, it is all for a good cause, and I am learning a lot—but I am ready to go back to school. I realized yesterday that I have little under a month to do everything I need to do here, and go back to school. Already I am beginning to speak more with students from school, beginning planning of events and meetings, while looking at my schedule of 18 credits. I will be SUPER involved this year (which I found out is the only way to keep me on top of academics is to keep me moving…with many extracurricular). There is still a little doubt in the corner of my mind though---am I taking on too much? I am the external VP of a diversity advocacy organization, I will more than likely have a work study job, I will be an alternate facilitator for an LGBT organization, I will probably be working with a friend on her design and diversity initiative, and I will be planning a pre-orientation program for next year, as well as planning my own design and diversity event (which I hope will be huge!).. All on top of 18 credits and research. Please don’t tell me that sounds like a lot because I KNOW that it is! But can I handle it? Of course I can…and if I can’t…well, I don’t know because I love EVERYTHING that I am doing.
Well. I’m just getting in the “back to school” spirit. Which reminds me...? I went to Target the other day, and they ALREADY have their back to school section set up… in JULY. I guess it’s never too early though! Here I come WUSTL
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
Blood, Sweat, Tears
This past week or so has been very intense for me. Not so much extreme pressure or emotion, but it seems that everything is subtly tearing, pushing, and pulling me, and I feel as though that in itself can be even more excruciating. The killer is more effective when silent.
I don’t mean to sound morbid…but it does seem as if things are falling around me. I spoke in my last post about I guy I knew from the 2009 SMDEP Columbia program dying. Although we were never really close, and I never stayed in contact, the sudden shock of hearing of his passing has made a true impact upon my life. I mean... I’ve never experienced such closeness with death before. And this is not to say that I’m depressed or mentally unstable or anything, but it’s more a quiet reverence. And I just woke up from that teenage invincibility phase. I realized that… today may be my last day here, and therefore, I must make a difference.
To make things worse... the organization that I know and love is on the brink of closing. I have been a participant with the Charlotte Coalition for Social Justice for almost 5 years now, volunteering, and now, I am a summer Intern. I think the work that they do is amazing. It is extremely sad... the Charlotte Community is loosing a VERY valuable organization. Many students will not only be hurt, but it will be EVEN HARDER for teenagers like myself to find a place where they will be accepted as they are; a place where they can come and talk about issues they can’t discuss in school; to meet and network with other youth from the community etc. It’s harder for students to find safe places like that in Charlotte…I just hope that the spirit of activism stays alive here. I know I will take it with me back to Saint Louis, but I’m more worried about the students here, who will be left without that central location….
Anyway, the dire situation with this organization has resulted in me temporarily suspending my research on mental health disparities. I think it is critical now that I devote all of my efforts to saving this organization, making the transition from operation to non more successful, making sure that the final program, ANYTOWN, is a success, and that the organization’s spirit remains alive, even when it is not physically centrally located. It’s a struggle, and a process, but every cloud has a silver lining. That is that the (temporary) closing of this organization really hits home with students that activism is not tied to an organization, but it is something that is within us all, particularly those who have attended ANYTOWN in the past. We must take the tools we learned and USE THEM!
While ALL of this was occurring in my life, I have been FURIOUSLY working on my second research update for my fellowship. Although I should have been reading throughout the month, it has been jam packed with stuff. I’ve been trying to cram my reading, note-taking, and paper-writing, within the last week. Surprisingly, I have been quite effective. I am staying up tonight to finish my annotated bibliography and to construct my update email, but everything else is pretty much completed. I should work this efficiently every week! Just imagine what I would get done! I think I have done well over all though, staying on top of my research game while everything else has been happening.
Anyway... it’s been a trial, but spilling my blood, sweat and tears over these projects is going to have a tremendous impact on my life in the long run. Both are things I am truly passionate about.
This stuff has made for a memorable summer, but I have learned so much about myself as a leader... hopefully this trend will continue into the school year.
Well, I think that’s enough lamentation and complaining for today. Hopefully in my next post, I will be a little more optimistic.
--Until Next Time!
I don’t mean to sound morbid…but it does seem as if things are falling around me. I spoke in my last post about I guy I knew from the 2009 SMDEP Columbia program dying. Although we were never really close, and I never stayed in contact, the sudden shock of hearing of his passing has made a true impact upon my life. I mean... I’ve never experienced such closeness with death before. And this is not to say that I’m depressed or mentally unstable or anything, but it’s more a quiet reverence. And I just woke up from that teenage invincibility phase. I realized that… today may be my last day here, and therefore, I must make a difference.
To make things worse... the organization that I know and love is on the brink of closing. I have been a participant with the Charlotte Coalition for Social Justice for almost 5 years now, volunteering, and now, I am a summer Intern. I think the work that they do is amazing. It is extremely sad... the Charlotte Community is loosing a VERY valuable organization. Many students will not only be hurt, but it will be EVEN HARDER for teenagers like myself to find a place where they will be accepted as they are; a place where they can come and talk about issues they can’t discuss in school; to meet and network with other youth from the community etc. It’s harder for students to find safe places like that in Charlotte…I just hope that the spirit of activism stays alive here. I know I will take it with me back to Saint Louis, but I’m more worried about the students here, who will be left without that central location….
Anyway, the dire situation with this organization has resulted in me temporarily suspending my research on mental health disparities. I think it is critical now that I devote all of my efforts to saving this organization, making the transition from operation to non more successful, making sure that the final program, ANYTOWN, is a success, and that the organization’s spirit remains alive, even when it is not physically centrally located. It’s a struggle, and a process, but every cloud has a silver lining. That is that the (temporary) closing of this organization really hits home with students that activism is not tied to an organization, but it is something that is within us all, particularly those who have attended ANYTOWN in the past. We must take the tools we learned and USE THEM!
While ALL of this was occurring in my life, I have been FURIOUSLY working on my second research update for my fellowship. Although I should have been reading throughout the month, it has been jam packed with stuff. I’ve been trying to cram my reading, note-taking, and paper-writing, within the last week. Surprisingly, I have been quite effective. I am staying up tonight to finish my annotated bibliography and to construct my update email, but everything else is pretty much completed. I should work this efficiently every week! Just imagine what I would get done! I think I have done well over all though, staying on top of my research game while everything else has been happening.
Anyway... it’s been a trial, but spilling my blood, sweat and tears over these projects is going to have a tremendous impact on my life in the long run. Both are things I am truly passionate about.
This stuff has made for a memorable summer, but I have learned so much about myself as a leader... hopefully this trend will continue into the school year.
Well, I think that’s enough lamentation and complaining for today. Hopefully in my next post, I will be a little more optimistic.
--Until Next Time!