Mixed Emotions

Hi blog world! I meant to write this last week, but things have been unexpectedly busy here lately, with my research, and my internship, all while trying to work on myself and have fun with the few friends that remain in Charlotte this summer. I have a lot of things I want to say, so bear with me. You don’t have to read it all (if you read it), but this is just my method of…well... venting

I just found out today that one of my fellow SMDEP Columbia participants passed away. This had a profound effect upon me, because I know he was young, and it made my own mortality even more apparent. He was a great kid though, talented, and very warm. I don’t think I’ll ever forget now that I sat next to him on the first day of that Summer Program. I was all alone, didn’t have anyone to talk to, in a strange but lovely city (New York), and he was willing to talk to me over lunch. With this news, that image, that moment will be forever engrained in my head. I guess it’s just a part of growing up though…some people die... it’s a fact of life...

Amongst my feelings of sadness is a feeling of joy and excitement...research is going well, whenever I can get to it. I spent most of this month hanging out with friends, so I have some MAJOR catching up to do before my second research update is due (In a few days). But I’ve realized that I absolutely LOVE what I am doing. I enjoy my topic, and I enjoy reading about it. I find myself knowing more and more everyday, which is incredible. I think I’m addicted to article searching. I have so many I have yet to read, yet I can’t wait to do so! I think it is a little absurd...and nerdy... but I love it. I’m sitting at the UNC Charlotte library right now...searching for articles and reading... enjoying every minute of it. I think this is what I am really destined to do! I guess here I come grad school!

In other news…my internship is not going well. It’s not that I’m not doing well (I love where I work), it’s that the organization that I am working with is not doing well at all, in fact many organizations in charlotte are not doing well. The organization that I was supposed to work for initially was suffering major budget cuts, and was eventually dismantled by the health department this summer… before my very eyes. The Charlotte Coalition for Social Justice is in dire need of money, since we did not receive our county funding this year… that has me really down in the dumps. I don’t know what I would do without this place. It has given me a voice, and it has lit the fire that has become my passion for social justice and health. I have met friends there, cried there, laughed there, engaged in challenging discussions there, became a leader and activist there…that organization has had a tremendous impact upon my life, and for that I am truly grateful. It is my only wish that it will be around longer for other students to experience what I have experienced…

Well… it appears I have been more concise than I was planning to be. I must depart now and work on my update (I have A LOT TO DO!)
- Until Next time!