First of all, I want to thank EVERYONE who reads my blog. I really didn’t think that so many people would take the time out of their schedules to check out what’s going on in my life. I’m still getting used to this immediate response thing from people, whom I don’t directly speak to about my life’s happenings... but yes, THANK YOU for all of the encouragement, prayers, words of advice... etc
Research has been nonexistent over the past week. I feel REALLY bad and guilty. After I submitted my research update to my fellowship administrators, research took the back burner. It’s not like I can afford to do that though, because I have a five page paper due by August 15th, (which I am still not clear about), as well as a stack of articles to read, AS WELL AS a book list which I am sure has at least 50 books (of course I won’t get through all of them, but I would like to get through the important ones). As I told my research mentor, I see my project morphing even more, but as it does, it is becoming more concentrated. I have become interested in looking at the African American physician, not in the Jim Crow era as I originally expected, but in the Civil Rights Era. I still want to look at this figure in terms of his/her activism and fight for equality, but I want to look at them now in the context of hospital integration. It is a very interesting argument to look at within the black medical community: some advocated for the dissolution of black hospitals in the name of greater equality and integration, while others advocated maintaining black hospitals in an effort to accommodate “separate but equal” policies, at least until integration could be reached. But I will give more information about the evolution of my topic in posts to come.... as of right now; I have more pressing things to be concerned with
So, as you may recall, the non-profit that I work for-The Charlotte Coalition for Social Justice—is in a dire situation at the moment. Closing looks inevitable, which is very disappointing to me. I have been EXTEREMLY busy with my internship. As of now I have dropped my mental health project, because it is just physically impossible for me to maintain that, while also helping to shepherd this organization through a transitory period, and while maintaining yet another research project. Out of this dire situation, however, I am learning some valuable tidbits. Melissa (the other intern) and I are planning a press conference where students who have been affected by the organization can share their stories with the Charlotte community. It has been an ORDEAL…collecting media contact information….drafting and redrafting a media advisory and press release… editing statements for students…. Contacting students… and planning every little detail of the conference so that it runs smoothly. The press conference will occur tomorrow, so I hope it goes well! I might upload some video later.
And YES, I am still enjoying summer. I have been hanging out with friends, and taking breaks from everything in efforts to keep my sanity, but I have just been so BUSY! I would not have expected that this summer….Anyway, it is all for a good cause, and I am learning a lot—but I am ready to go back to school. I realized yesterday that I have little under a month to do everything I need to do here, and go back to school. Already I am beginning to speak more with students from school, beginning planning of events and meetings, while looking at my schedule of 18 credits. I will be SUPER involved this year (which I found out is the only way to keep me on top of academics is to keep me moving…with many extracurricular). There is still a little doubt in the corner of my mind though---am I taking on too much? I am the external VP of a diversity advocacy organization, I will more than likely have a work study job, I will be an alternate facilitator for an LGBT organization, I will probably be working with a friend on her design and diversity initiative, and I will be planning a pre-orientation program for next year, as well as planning my own design and diversity event (which I hope will be huge!).. All on top of 18 credits and research. Please don’t tell me that sounds like a lot because I KNOW that it is! But can I handle it? Of course I can…and if I can’t…well, I don’t know because I love EVERYTHING that I am doing.
Well. I’m just getting in the “back to school” spirit. Which reminds me...? I went to Target the other day, and they ALREADY have their back to school section set up… in JULY. I guess it’s never too early though! Here I come WUSTL
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
Blood, Sweat, Tears
This past week or so has been very intense for me. Not so much extreme pressure or emotion, but it seems that everything is subtly tearing, pushing, and pulling me, and I feel as though that in itself can be even more excruciating. The killer is more effective when silent.
I don’t mean to sound morbid…but it does seem as if things are falling around me. I spoke in my last post about I guy I knew from the 2009 SMDEP Columbia program dying. Although we were never really close, and I never stayed in contact, the sudden shock of hearing of his passing has made a true impact upon my life. I mean... I’ve never experienced such closeness with death before. And this is not to say that I’m depressed or mentally unstable or anything, but it’s more a quiet reverence. And I just woke up from that teenage invincibility phase. I realized that… today may be my last day here, and therefore, I must make a difference.
To make things worse... the organization that I know and love is on the brink of closing. I have been a participant with the Charlotte Coalition for Social Justice for almost 5 years now, volunteering, and now, I am a summer Intern. I think the work that they do is amazing. It is extremely sad... the Charlotte Community is loosing a VERY valuable organization. Many students will not only be hurt, but it will be EVEN HARDER for teenagers like myself to find a place where they will be accepted as they are; a place where they can come and talk about issues they can’t discuss in school; to meet and network with other youth from the community etc. It’s harder for students to find safe places like that in Charlotte…I just hope that the spirit of activism stays alive here. I know I will take it with me back to Saint Louis, but I’m more worried about the students here, who will be left without that central location….
Anyway, the dire situation with this organization has resulted in me temporarily suspending my research on mental health disparities. I think it is critical now that I devote all of my efforts to saving this organization, making the transition from operation to non more successful, making sure that the final program, ANYTOWN, is a success, and that the organization’s spirit remains alive, even when it is not physically centrally located. It’s a struggle, and a process, but every cloud has a silver lining. That is that the (temporary) closing of this organization really hits home with students that activism is not tied to an organization, but it is something that is within us all, particularly those who have attended ANYTOWN in the past. We must take the tools we learned and USE THEM!
While ALL of this was occurring in my life, I have been FURIOUSLY working on my second research update for my fellowship. Although I should have been reading throughout the month, it has been jam packed with stuff. I’ve been trying to cram my reading, note-taking, and paper-writing, within the last week. Surprisingly, I have been quite effective. I am staying up tonight to finish my annotated bibliography and to construct my update email, but everything else is pretty much completed. I should work this efficiently every week! Just imagine what I would get done! I think I have done well over all though, staying on top of my research game while everything else has been happening.
Anyway... it’s been a trial, but spilling my blood, sweat and tears over these projects is going to have a tremendous impact on my life in the long run. Both are things I am truly passionate about.
This stuff has made for a memorable summer, but I have learned so much about myself as a leader... hopefully this trend will continue into the school year.
Well, I think that’s enough lamentation and complaining for today. Hopefully in my next post, I will be a little more optimistic.
--Until Next Time!
I don’t mean to sound morbid…but it does seem as if things are falling around me. I spoke in my last post about I guy I knew from the 2009 SMDEP Columbia program dying. Although we were never really close, and I never stayed in contact, the sudden shock of hearing of his passing has made a true impact upon my life. I mean... I’ve never experienced such closeness with death before. And this is not to say that I’m depressed or mentally unstable or anything, but it’s more a quiet reverence. And I just woke up from that teenage invincibility phase. I realized that… today may be my last day here, and therefore, I must make a difference.
To make things worse... the organization that I know and love is on the brink of closing. I have been a participant with the Charlotte Coalition for Social Justice for almost 5 years now, volunteering, and now, I am a summer Intern. I think the work that they do is amazing. It is extremely sad... the Charlotte Community is loosing a VERY valuable organization. Many students will not only be hurt, but it will be EVEN HARDER for teenagers like myself to find a place where they will be accepted as they are; a place where they can come and talk about issues they can’t discuss in school; to meet and network with other youth from the community etc. It’s harder for students to find safe places like that in Charlotte…I just hope that the spirit of activism stays alive here. I know I will take it with me back to Saint Louis, but I’m more worried about the students here, who will be left without that central location….
Anyway, the dire situation with this organization has resulted in me temporarily suspending my research on mental health disparities. I think it is critical now that I devote all of my efforts to saving this organization, making the transition from operation to non more successful, making sure that the final program, ANYTOWN, is a success, and that the organization’s spirit remains alive, even when it is not physically centrally located. It’s a struggle, and a process, but every cloud has a silver lining. That is that the (temporary) closing of this organization really hits home with students that activism is not tied to an organization, but it is something that is within us all, particularly those who have attended ANYTOWN in the past. We must take the tools we learned and USE THEM!
While ALL of this was occurring in my life, I have been FURIOUSLY working on my second research update for my fellowship. Although I should have been reading throughout the month, it has been jam packed with stuff. I’ve been trying to cram my reading, note-taking, and paper-writing, within the last week. Surprisingly, I have been quite effective. I am staying up tonight to finish my annotated bibliography and to construct my update email, but everything else is pretty much completed. I should work this efficiently every week! Just imagine what I would get done! I think I have done well over all though, staying on top of my research game while everything else has been happening.
Anyway... it’s been a trial, but spilling my blood, sweat and tears over these projects is going to have a tremendous impact on my life in the long run. Both are things I am truly passionate about.
This stuff has made for a memorable summer, but I have learned so much about myself as a leader... hopefully this trend will continue into the school year.
Well, I think that’s enough lamentation and complaining for today. Hopefully in my next post, I will be a little more optimistic.
--Until Next Time!
Friday, July 9, 2010
Mixed Emotions
Hi blog world! I meant to write this last week, but things have been unexpectedly busy here lately, with my research, and my internship, all while trying to work on myself and have fun with the few friends that remain in Charlotte this summer. I have a lot of things I want to say, so bear with me. You don’t have to read it all (if you read it), but this is just my method of…well... venting
I just found out today that one of my fellow SMDEP Columbia participants passed away. This had a profound effect upon me, because I know he was young, and it made my own mortality even more apparent. He was a great kid though, talented, and very warm. I don’t think I’ll ever forget now that I sat next to him on the first day of that Summer Program. I was all alone, didn’t have anyone to talk to, in a strange but lovely city (New York), and he was willing to talk to me over lunch. With this news, that image, that moment will be forever engrained in my head. I guess it’s just a part of growing up though…some people die... it’s a fact of life...
Amongst my feelings of sadness is a feeling of joy and excitement...research is going well, whenever I can get to it. I spent most of this month hanging out with friends, so I have some MAJOR catching up to do before my second research update is due (In a few days). But I’ve realized that I absolutely LOVE what I am doing. I enjoy my topic, and I enjoy reading about it. I find myself knowing more and more everyday, which is incredible. I think I’m addicted to article searching. I have so many I have yet to read, yet I can’t wait to do so! I think it is a little absurd...and nerdy... but I love it. I’m sitting at the UNC Charlotte library right now...searching for articles and reading... enjoying every minute of it. I think this is what I am really destined to do! I guess here I come grad school!
In other news…my internship is not going well. It’s not that I’m not doing well (I love where I work), it’s that the organization that I am working with is not doing well at all, in fact many organizations in charlotte are not doing well. The organization that I was supposed to work for initially was suffering major budget cuts, and was eventually dismantled by the health department this summer… before my very eyes. The Charlotte Coalition for Social Justice is in dire need of money, since we did not receive our county funding this year… that has me really down in the dumps. I don’t know what I would do without this place. It has given me a voice, and it has lit the fire that has become my passion for social justice and health. I have met friends there, cried there, laughed there, engaged in challenging discussions there, became a leader and activist there…that organization has had a tremendous impact upon my life, and for that I am truly grateful. It is my only wish that it will be around longer for other students to experience what I have experienced…
Well… it appears I have been more concise than I was planning to be. I must depart now and work on my update (I have A LOT TO DO!)
- Until Next time!
I just found out today that one of my fellow SMDEP Columbia participants passed away. This had a profound effect upon me, because I know he was young, and it made my own mortality even more apparent. He was a great kid though, talented, and very warm. I don’t think I’ll ever forget now that I sat next to him on the first day of that Summer Program. I was all alone, didn’t have anyone to talk to, in a strange but lovely city (New York), and he was willing to talk to me over lunch. With this news, that image, that moment will be forever engrained in my head. I guess it’s just a part of growing up though…some people die... it’s a fact of life...
Amongst my feelings of sadness is a feeling of joy and excitement...research is going well, whenever I can get to it. I spent most of this month hanging out with friends, so I have some MAJOR catching up to do before my second research update is due (In a few days). But I’ve realized that I absolutely LOVE what I am doing. I enjoy my topic, and I enjoy reading about it. I find myself knowing more and more everyday, which is incredible. I think I’m addicted to article searching. I have so many I have yet to read, yet I can’t wait to do so! I think it is a little absurd...and nerdy... but I love it. I’m sitting at the UNC Charlotte library right now...searching for articles and reading... enjoying every minute of it. I think this is what I am really destined to do! I guess here I come grad school!
In other news…my internship is not going well. It’s not that I’m not doing well (I love where I work), it’s that the organization that I am working with is not doing well at all, in fact many organizations in charlotte are not doing well. The organization that I was supposed to work for initially was suffering major budget cuts, and was eventually dismantled by the health department this summer… before my very eyes. The Charlotte Coalition for Social Justice is in dire need of money, since we did not receive our county funding this year… that has me really down in the dumps. I don’t know what I would do without this place. It has given me a voice, and it has lit the fire that has become my passion for social justice and health. I have met friends there, cried there, laughed there, engaged in challenging discussions there, became a leader and activist there…that organization has had a tremendous impact upon my life, and for that I am truly grateful. It is my only wish that it will be around longer for other students to experience what I have experienced…
Well… it appears I have been more concise than I was planning to be. I must depart now and work on my update (I have A LOT TO DO!)
- Until Next time!
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
Rest...then... KEEP RUNNING!
Hello Blog! Hello Readers
It seems that I always begin like this, but, it has been a long time since I have written! I think, what about two weeks now? Anyway, I took approximately 1.5 weeks (like my scientific lingo?) to myself to enjoy my friends and enjoy my summer. This week, starting Sunday, I hit it HARD I spent the whole day today at my internship doing an article search for my OTHER research project... bad I know…but this can get really addictive. Anyway, I have several things to report.
The first of these being I have received feedback from my official update to my research fellowship administrators. All in all, it seems I have done nothing terribly wrong the first time. I did get reprimanded for not including page numbers in my notes. I changed that habit VERY quickly and immediately began putting them in my notes. The confusion around my project surfaced again, but I think I have settled that debate forever. I am not looking at the black physician in literature any longer, but instead looking at the figure in both textual and oral sources. I am looking at how he inhabits an understated second role as an advocate for equality in a time period when marginalization and segregation were legally mandated. Finally I can breathe a sigh of relief. I was also told I should look at what ISN’T present in scholarly works and use that as a spring board for criticism of the works that I am reading.
In other news, I had a lovely conversation with a historian from the University of North Carolina at Charlotte. Her research did not directly align with mine, but she looks at traditional healing and health in South Africa. After I told her I was going there to study abroad we had a long conversation about traditional versus western medicine as well as witchcraft, all over a nice toasted Panini. That trip to UNCC also allowed me to buy my community borrowers card and get access to online articles. That is good… but I hate how it is limited. I can only check out six books at a time. What kind of mess is that for a student researcher? On top of that, I can’t use interlibrary loans! REALLY? I guess I can’t complain though... at least I can check out something. I’m so excited because I got my license the other day, so I can drive to UNCC by myself now! YAY.
Over the past week I have been in HEAVY contact with my mentor. She gives the best advice. Yesterday, I emailed her and asked her about Google Books (which is an EXCELLENT resource for those of you who are doing research too) Here is what she sent to me:
"I will add, too, that the internet has made research almost unrecognizable
in its ease: when I was a grad student in the 1980s the MLA Bibliography
was still in huge volumes that you had to lug off a shelf in the reading
room and you would burn calories off running up and down the aisles of the
stacks, getting bound periodicals to take notes from (photocopying was
pricey and therefore not done except for all but the most important
articles). Hence the need to get those citations done right the first
time around--who wanted to go back into the stacks only to find the right
volume missing!!!"
LOL. Research has changed so much since then! I can now do an article search from a desk in my dorm room, or in my real room at home!
In Internship news. I have definitely taken a few days sabbatical (even though I am physically here) from my project. As it turns out Mental Health statistics are the hardest to come by, when looking at prevalence in racial and ethnic minorities. I might need to revamp my project a tad so that whatever products I produce look reasonable…but I have one thing to say: If anyone chooses a career in Mental Health/Mental Health advocacy, PLEASE set up better systems of surveillance. It is incredible to me! I was speaking with a multicultural mental health advocate who deals with refugee populations in my hometown, and he told me there was NO question on the intake evaluation about mental health status. Think about where refugees come from. It is a mistake to assume no mental duress, and an even bigger mistake NOT to point them in the direction of adequate mental health care. I see this is a big problem, not only in my community, but in the National Community. Now all we need to do is figure out how to fix the problem.
Well, I have a few weeks before my next official update. I need to read 5 books by then (lol). So… I need to get to it. I think that is about all for right now!
- Until Next time
It seems that I always begin like this, but, it has been a long time since I have written! I think, what about two weeks now? Anyway, I took approximately 1.5 weeks (like my scientific lingo?) to myself to enjoy my friends and enjoy my summer. This week, starting Sunday, I hit it HARD I spent the whole day today at my internship doing an article search for my OTHER research project... bad I know…but this can get really addictive. Anyway, I have several things to report.
The first of these being I have received feedback from my official update to my research fellowship administrators. All in all, it seems I have done nothing terribly wrong the first time. I did get reprimanded for not including page numbers in my notes. I changed that habit VERY quickly and immediately began putting them in my notes. The confusion around my project surfaced again, but I think I have settled that debate forever. I am not looking at the black physician in literature any longer, but instead looking at the figure in both textual and oral sources. I am looking at how he inhabits an understated second role as an advocate for equality in a time period when marginalization and segregation were legally mandated. Finally I can breathe a sigh of relief. I was also told I should look at what ISN’T present in scholarly works and use that as a spring board for criticism of the works that I am reading.
In other news, I had a lovely conversation with a historian from the University of North Carolina at Charlotte. Her research did not directly align with mine, but she looks at traditional healing and health in South Africa. After I told her I was going there to study abroad we had a long conversation about traditional versus western medicine as well as witchcraft, all over a nice toasted Panini. That trip to UNCC also allowed me to buy my community borrowers card and get access to online articles. That is good… but I hate how it is limited. I can only check out six books at a time. What kind of mess is that for a student researcher? On top of that, I can’t use interlibrary loans! REALLY? I guess I can’t complain though... at least I can check out something. I’m so excited because I got my license the other day, so I can drive to UNCC by myself now! YAY.
Over the past week I have been in HEAVY contact with my mentor. She gives the best advice. Yesterday, I emailed her and asked her about Google Books (which is an EXCELLENT resource for those of you who are doing research too) Here is what she sent to me:
"I will add, too, that the internet has made research almost unrecognizable
in its ease: when I was a grad student in the 1980s the MLA Bibliography
was still in huge volumes that you had to lug off a shelf in the reading
room and you would burn calories off running up and down the aisles of the
stacks, getting bound periodicals to take notes from (photocopying was
pricey and therefore not done except for all but the most important
articles). Hence the need to get those citations done right the first
time around--who wanted to go back into the stacks only to find the right
volume missing!!!"
LOL. Research has changed so much since then! I can now do an article search from a desk in my dorm room, or in my real room at home!
In Internship news. I have definitely taken a few days sabbatical (even though I am physically here) from my project. As it turns out Mental Health statistics are the hardest to come by, when looking at prevalence in racial and ethnic minorities. I might need to revamp my project a tad so that whatever products I produce look reasonable…but I have one thing to say: If anyone chooses a career in Mental Health/Mental Health advocacy, PLEASE set up better systems of surveillance. It is incredible to me! I was speaking with a multicultural mental health advocate who deals with refugee populations in my hometown, and he told me there was NO question on the intake evaluation about mental health status. Think about where refugees come from. It is a mistake to assume no mental duress, and an even bigger mistake NOT to point them in the direction of adequate mental health care. I see this is a big problem, not only in my community, but in the National Community. Now all we need to do is figure out how to fix the problem.
Well, I have a few weeks before my next official update. I need to read 5 books by then (lol). So… I need to get to it. I think that is about all for right now!
- Until Next time
Monday, June 14, 2010
Financial troubles at every turn...Dear Blog and Followers, So... today was just one of those busy days, but at least, I’m finally developing a routin
Dear Blog and Followers,
So... today was just one of those busy days, but at least, I’m finally developing a routine, and writing EVERYDAY which is a good thing. Today I have not touched any of my academic research. This is due, in part, to distress in the realm of my internship. Upon my arrival back home in Charlotte, NC, not only was I faced with the tightening budget of my family, but also with the tightening budget of the County in which I live. It seems that while I was gone, the economic crisis hit my home especially hard. You should see how services are being cut left and right here: Public Libraries are facing a 50 percent budget cut, and the local school system is firing teachers when it desperately needs to be hiring some. In the face of all of that, the non-profit that I am working for this summer is in limbo.
I work for the Charlotte Coalition for Social Justice, working on a Health Disparities project. I decided to come back because the organization has made such an important impact on my life, and the way that I view the world. It even led to my current interests in health disparities. But this organization is facing being cut from one of its major contributors: The Charlotte-Mecklenburg County. We met with one of the County Commissioners to try and persuade him to change his vote. He was very candid, which I appreciate, the meeting instigated my passion and fire, and I’m afraid that amidst all of that my points may not have been taken well. It’s just that, this organization means so much to ME. I even spoke about how my work with this organization led to my scholarship to WUSTL. And now younger students will not have the opportunity to experience the wonderful-ness of it because the county is considering cutting it.
Now don’t get me wrong. It is JUST as important to fund the schools and the library; however, I make the case that even with budget cuts these resources will still be OPERATIONAL. That cannot be said about CCSJ, which is requesting an incalculably small percentage of the county budget. And what really irritates me is that I cannot convey HOW MUCH this organization actually impacts students’ lives. They don’t see that there are salient, tangible benefits from their money. I don’t know. I’ve sent emails, I’ve called, and I’ve met. I want people to really KNOW—THIS IS WORTH IT. So if you live in Charlotte, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE contact your commissioners within the next 24 hours and tell them to keep CCSJ alive.
Well it is 11:00 pm. I still need to compile my update email for my research fellowship administrators to be sent tomorrow. This entails compiling an annotated bibliography, which I have NOT been keeping up with…so I’ll be up for a while... and then waking up early to attend a meeting with another local leader in the morning. It’s tiring, but I’m glad that I’m actually becoming an active member of my home community.
Anyway... I’m super tired, but I still have to stay up…I need some caffeine…it feels like I’m back in school (which it shouldn’t because it is the summer)…anyway….
- Until next time
So... today was just one of those busy days, but at least, I’m finally developing a routine, and writing EVERYDAY which is a good thing. Today I have not touched any of my academic research. This is due, in part, to distress in the realm of my internship. Upon my arrival back home in Charlotte, NC, not only was I faced with the tightening budget of my family, but also with the tightening budget of the County in which I live. It seems that while I was gone, the economic crisis hit my home especially hard. You should see how services are being cut left and right here: Public Libraries are facing a 50 percent budget cut, and the local school system is firing teachers when it desperately needs to be hiring some. In the face of all of that, the non-profit that I am working for this summer is in limbo.
I work for the Charlotte Coalition for Social Justice, working on a Health Disparities project. I decided to come back because the organization has made such an important impact on my life, and the way that I view the world. It even led to my current interests in health disparities. But this organization is facing being cut from one of its major contributors: The Charlotte-Mecklenburg County. We met with one of the County Commissioners to try and persuade him to change his vote. He was very candid, which I appreciate, the meeting instigated my passion and fire, and I’m afraid that amidst all of that my points may not have been taken well. It’s just that, this organization means so much to ME. I even spoke about how my work with this organization led to my scholarship to WUSTL. And now younger students will not have the opportunity to experience the wonderful-ness of it because the county is considering cutting it.
Now don’t get me wrong. It is JUST as important to fund the schools and the library; however, I make the case that even with budget cuts these resources will still be OPERATIONAL. That cannot be said about CCSJ, which is requesting an incalculably small percentage of the county budget. And what really irritates me is that I cannot convey HOW MUCH this organization actually impacts students’ lives. They don’t see that there are salient, tangible benefits from their money. I don’t know. I’ve sent emails, I’ve called, and I’ve met. I want people to really KNOW—THIS IS WORTH IT. So if you live in Charlotte, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE contact your commissioners within the next 24 hours and tell them to keep CCSJ alive.
Well it is 11:00 pm. I still need to compile my update email for my research fellowship administrators to be sent tomorrow. This entails compiling an annotated bibliography, which I have NOT been keeping up with…so I’ll be up for a while... and then waking up early to attend a meeting with another local leader in the morning. It’s tiring, but I’m glad that I’m actually becoming an active member of my home community.
Anyway... I’m super tired, but I still have to stay up…I need some caffeine…it feels like I’m back in school (which it shouldn’t because it is the summer)…anyway….
- Until next time
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